Conflict or disagreement is normal and often happens when children get together. However, hurtful words, gestures, or physical attacks are unacceptable ways to deal with conflict and disagreement at school. Our goal is to teach students several positive ways to deal with these difficult situations. To do this, we are asking students who have "small" problems to try at least two of the following ideas:
- Go to another game or activity
- Share and take turns
- Respectfully talk it over and listen to each (Use the Peace Walk)
- Walk away from the problem
- Ignore the problem behavior
- Tell the person to stop the problem behavior
- Apologize
- Make a deal or compromise
- Wait and cool off
This process can be done before asking for adult help. When a request for adult help is made, it will include the two ideas tried: "Mrs. Jone, Tad is teasing me about my glasses. I tried ignoring him, and I've told him nicely to stop. He is still calling me names." The adult will then get involved and help solve the problem. Of course, the adult will immediately handle any serious or "big" problems that cause a child to feel threatened or frightened.
By using this plan, we believe that our students will develop effective problem-solving skills that they can use again and again. It will help them to deal with conflict in a positive manner and to make appropriate decisions. Know what to do will help students reduce the stress and number of conflicts they have at school and in their neighborhood.
This week, I will begin discussing with students in Kindergarten-2nd grade, the difference between a small problem and a big problem. The students will preview Kelso's 9 Choices and meet Kelso himself! I encourage you to become familiar with this program and use the chart above at home. By working together, we can develop a healthy life skill for young people to use at home and at school. I will also be sending home a paper copy of Kelso's Choices Wheel with students after each lesson.
If you have any questions or would like more information on how to help your child solve conflicts on his/her own, please don't hesitate to contact me directly.
