Mary Jo Rapini, LPC
Licensed
Professional Counselor
The loss of childhood is a serious and complex problem
facing many families in America. It is clear that our kids are growing up very
quickly in a generation full of electronics, never experienced by their
parents.
Recent statistics show that more than 50 hours per week of a
child’s life is spent interacting with some sort of screen media. In addition,
kids are sleeping less; they are involved in more non-family activities; they
are being treated as confidantes by their parents; and they have less time to
be still or interact with family. And this doesn't come without consequences.
Increased stress, as well as a need for
immediacy and awkwardness with normal communication are common results. Kids
also feel more overwhelmed with emotions they don’t understand or have the
ability to process.
How can we protect our children’s youth, help them manage
necessary stress and minimize unnecessary stress? The number one way to manage
stress is to prevent it from happening. This article offers suggestions for
parents on managing their own stress, as well as the stress of their children.
Do recognize the negative effects of
stress
An overload of information or an inability to manage
information leads to anxiety, depression and stress in our children. While
attention deficit disorders are a real issue for today’s kids, environmental
influences cannot be overlooked. Many parents are as stressed—if not more than
their children. And when children don’t understand what is going on, they
typically try to help their parents by taking on some of their unspoken worries
and concerns.
It is not uncommon for parents to travel for work, vent personal
information to their children or sign their child up for too many activities.
This can push a healthy balance to an unhealthy point for a child. Just as
parents need down time, so do kids.
As a parent, prepare yourself to not expect perfection.
Instead, focus on being happy and raising kids who feel good about themselves.
The easiest way to do this is to focus on all you love and what is going great
in your life. If your child is getting all B’s with one C or D, focus on the
B’s, with encouragement toward improving the C or D.
Minimize stress with exercise and healthy foods. When you
make healthy choices, you become happier. Taking ten minutes for yourself each day
to exercise minimizes stress and anxiety, while also helping demonstrate a
healthy lifestyle for your child.
Take care of yourself spiritually. Your faith and beliefs
can help you relieve stress. Praying, meditating and sharing your life with a
community helps you feel less burdened. This is a more appropriate sounding
board than using your children.
Talk to your kids about what is causing the stress in their
life, and less about what is causing stress in your own life.
Focus on helping your child develop a routine to follow each
day. Consistency and structure minimize stress in kids. Develop a bedtime plan
and ensure that your child is getting plenty of sleep. Catching up on weekends
is not okay.
Planning family meals rather than going out for fast food
will reduce stress. Healthy eating doesn't have to be time consuming, and it
allows you to spend more time engaged with your child.
Less planned activities and having time to journal or work
on hobbies gives children more control and encourages healthy coping and stress
management.
Summary
You cannot escape all stress. While it is important to
recognize that some stress is good, when your child becomes anxious, weepy and
unable to focus, it is time to make changes in your family’s lifestyle. It is
possible for parents to help their children minimize and manage daily stress.
