GENaustin Workshop Saturday, April 12

Messaging Apps that Parent Should Know About

The following article was sent to me by our technology teacher that he found on commonsensemedia.org.  Definitely a great read for all parents!

Trend Alert: 6 Messaging Apps That Let Teens Share (Iffy) Secrets

Capturing and posting casual moments seems consequence-free. But, of course, it's not.

Kelly Schryver March 26, 2014 

Senior Content Specialist

You probably never thought you'd see the day when Facebook wasn't the center of teens' universe. But keeping up with Facebook friends through ad-filled newsfeeds and lengthy profiles, especially given the fact that everyone knows your name, is starting to feel tiresome to many teens.

Facebook is still a go-to place for many things, such as wishing someone a happy birthday or stalking a crush. However, newer social apps make it easier, faster, and more fun to capture and share fleeting moments -- sometimes anonymously. These temporary and anonymous-messaging apps provide an environment that feels more appropriate to the random, silly, saucy, and experimental sides of the average teenager.

Perhaps most importantly to teens, these apps can feel consequence-free. But of course they're not. Data never really disappears, and anonymity carries big risks. If you don't recognize the apps your kid is currently obsessing over, here's what you need to know:

Temporary Apps

Temporary apps allow people to send messages and images that self-destruct after a set window of time. Teens can use these apps to more carefully manage their digital trails -- so long as they don't share things they wouldn't normally send otherwise. 

Snapchat: A messaging app that lets users put a time limit on the pictures and videos they send before they disappear.

Why it's popular: Snapchat's creators intended the app's fleeting images to be a way for teens to share fun, light moments without the risk of having them go public. And that's what most teens use it for: sending goofy or embarrassing photos to one another. Teens may pay more attention to Snapchats, knowing they'll disappear in a matter of seconds.

What parents need to know:

• Many schools have yet to block it, which is one reason why teens like it so much.
• It's a myth that Snapchats go away forever. Data is data: Whenever anything is sent online, it never truly goes away. (For example, the person on the receiving end can take a screenshot of the image before it disappears.) Snapchats can even be recovered.
• It can make sexting seem OK. The seemingly risk-free messaging might encourage users to share pictures containing inappropriate content.

Burn Note: A texting-only app that erases messages after a set period of time. Messages are stored until first view and then deleted.

Why it's popular: Unlike other temporary apps, Burn Note's unique display system makes it more difficult (but not impossible) to copy or take a screenshot of sent messages. Though sending sensitive information via SMS (such as a PIN) isn't the smartest idea, Burn Note makes it safer.

What parents need to know:

• Deleted texts cannot be recovered. Burn Note claims to completely expunge deleted messages from its server. Unread messages self-destruct after 30 days.
• Burn Note doesn't share personal information with third parties for analytics or advertising purposes.
• Recipients don't need to have Burn Note. You can send a message to an email address or a phone contact. The note will show up as a link.

Anonymous Apps

On the positive side, going incognito online helps us express ourselves in ways we might not be able to in the real world. On the negative side, anonymous apps are often riddled with inappropriate content. They also can encourage bullying behavior.

Whisper: A social "confessional" app that allows users to post whatever's on their mind. Users type a confession, add a background image, and share it with the Whisper community. It’s intended for users age 17 and older.

Why it's popular: There’s something to be said about sharing one's innermost thoughts without any repercussions, especially if they're not socially acceptable. It’s cathartic. For those who simply choose to browse, Whisper can be amusing, heartbreaking, troubling, and comforting all at once.

What parents need to know:

• The scenarios can be hard to stomach. Reading that a teacher has fantasies about his or her students or that someone’s father is going to be released from jail and start a custody battle can weigh heavily on teens. Some confessions, however, are totally benign (and funny!).
• There is plenty of inappropriate content. All too often, whispers are sexual. Some use Whisper to solicit others for sex (using the app's geo-location "nearby" feature). Strong language and drug and alcohol references also are prevalent (for example, "My wife and I were both high on our wedding day" and "I dropped acid with my mom once").
• Whispers can go public. Entertainment news sites, such as BuzzFeed, are beginning to feature Whispers. The problem? When secrets -- including the embellished or fake ones -- become news, we may begin to find ourselves in tabloid territory. 

Secret - Speak Freely: A social-media app that's designed to let people voice whatever's on their minds anonymously.

Why it's popular: Similar to Whisper, Secret lets people vent, confess, and share freely -- without anyone knowing who said what.

What parents need to know:

• It tries to prevent users from defaming others. When Secret first launched in Silicon Valley, its adult users started using it to smack-talk their coworkers and bosses. Secret now detects when you mention someone by name (most of the time) and sends you a warning about it.
• It requires some private information. Despite the fact that it promises user anonymity, it requires your email address and phone number.
• Kids may encounter strong language. We came across "hell" and "f--k" almost immediately.

Ask.fm: A social site that lets kids ask questions and answer those posted by other users -- sometimes anonymously.

Why it's popular: Although there are some friendly interactions on Ask.fm -- Q&As about favorite foods or crushes, for example -- there are lots of mean comments and some creepy sexual posts. This iffy content is part of the site's appeal for teens.

What parents need to know:

• Bullying is a major concern. The British news website MailOnline reported that the site has been linked to the suicides of several teens. Talk to your teens about cyberbullying and how anonymity can encourage mean behavior.
• Anonymous answers are optional. Users can decide whether to allow anonymous posts and can remove their answers from streaming to decrease their profile's visibility. If teens do use the site, they'd be best turning off anonymous answers and keeping themselves out of the live stream.
• Q&As can appear on Facebook. Syncing with Facebook means that a much wider audience can see those Q&As' behavior.

Omegle: An anonymous chat client through which users discuss anything they'd like. Its conversations are filled with lewd language and references to sexual content, drugs and alcohol, and violence.

Why it's popular: Online chat rooms have been around for ages, as have the iffy and inappropriate conversations that happen in them. Though there are many misconceptions about "online predators," it’s true that risky online relationships -- though rare -- more frequently evolve in chat rooms when teens willingly seek out or engage in sexual conversation.

What parents need to know:

• Users get paired up with strangers. That's the whole premise of the app. And there's no registration required.
• This is NOT an app for kids and teens. Omegle is filled with people searching for sexual chat. Some prefer to do so live. Others offer links to porn Websites.
• Language is a big issue. And since the chats are anonymous, they're often much more explicit than with someone who can be identified.

The best way to approach these apps with your kids? Talk to them about their online reputations -- not in terms of "getting caught" by teachers, college-admissions officers, or future employers, but as a matter of being the best person they can possibly be. Acknowledge that, chances are, they'll come across extreme, inappropriate, or hurtful content online…and that it's OK for them to ask you about it, especially if it upsets them. These kinds of conversations will be far from fleeting -- the benefits will last a lifetime.

Please visit Common Sense Media for more information about "parenting, media and everything in between".

How can parents help their children minimize unnecessary stress?

Mary Jo Rapini, LPC 

Licensed Professional Counselor

The loss of childhood is a serious and complex problem facing many families in America. It is clear that our kids are growing up very quickly in a generation full of electronics, never experienced by their parents.

Recent statistics show that more than 50 hours per week of a child’s life is spent interacting with some sort of screen media. In addition, kids are sleeping less; they are involved in more non-family activities; they are being treated as confidantes by their parents; and they have less time to be still or interact with family. And this doesn't come without consequences. Increased stress,  as well as a need for immediacy and awkwardness with normal communication are common results. Kids also feel more overwhelmed with emotions they don’t understand or have the ability to process.

How can we protect our children’s youth, help them manage necessary stress and minimize unnecessary stress? The number one way to manage stress is to prevent it from happening. This article offers suggestions for parents on managing their own stress, as well as the stress of their children.

Do recognize the negative effects of stress

An overload of information or an inability to manage information leads to anxiety, depression and stress in our children. While attention deficit disorders are a real issue for today’s kids, environmental influences cannot be overlooked. Many parents are as stressed—if not more than their children. And when children don’t understand what is going on, they typically try to help their parents by taking on some of their unspoken worries and concerns.

It is not uncommon for parents to travel for work, vent personal information to their children or sign their child up for too many activities. This can push a healthy balance to an unhealthy point for a child. Just as parents need down time, so do kids.

Do concentrate on happiness and feeling good about oneself

As a parent, prepare yourself to not expect perfection. Instead, focus on being happy and raising kids who feel good about themselves. The easiest way to do this is to focus on all you love and what is going great in your life. If your child is getting all B’s with one C or D, focus on the B’s, with encouragement toward improving the C or D.

Do exercise and eat healthy foods

Minimize stress with exercise and healthy foods. When you make healthy choices, you become happier. Taking ten minutes for yourself each day to exercise minimizes stress and anxiety, while also helping demonstrate a healthy lifestyle for your child.

Do focus on spirituality

Take care of yourself spiritually. Your faith and beliefs can help you relieve stress. Praying, meditating and sharing your life with a community helps you feel less burdened. This is a more appropriate sounding board than using your children.

Do not overlook the importance of creating open communication

Talk to your kids about what is causing the stress in their life, and less about what is causing stress in your own life.

Do not forget to establish routines

Focus on helping your child develop a routine to follow each day. Consistency and structure minimize stress in kids. Develop a bedtime plan and ensure that your child is getting plenty of sleep. Catching up on weekends is not okay.

Do not overdo fast food meals

Planning family meals rather than going out for fast food will reduce stress. Healthy eating doesn't have to be time consuming, and it allows you to spend more time engaged with your child.

Do not over schedule kids

Less planned activities and having time to journal or work on hobbies gives children more control and encourages healthy coping and stress management.

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Summary

You cannot escape all stress. While it is important to recognize that some stress is good, when your child becomes anxious, weepy and unable to focus, it is time to make changes in your family’s lifestyle. It is possible for parents to help their children minimize and manage daily stress.

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Click her for a direct link to Ms. Rapini's Article

5 Things That Build Self-Esteem in Kids

Today, I found this great article written by Kidlutions.  These 5 tips are very easy to do and can really build up your child's self-esteem.

Building REAL Self-Esteem in Kids

Most parents want to "up" their child's self-esteem.  It's a common question I get from parents.  "How do I make sure my child is confident enough?  How can I help her believe in herself?  How can she eventually bounce back from disappointment?"

Well, there a few things that parents should know that can help support their child in developing all of the above.  We know constant praise doesn't work, and in fact, may backfire. The most helpful things of all seem to be:

1. Stability Counts. Providing a stable living environment wherein the child feels love and unconditional positive regard.  This goes beyond the basic needs of food, shelter and clothing.  It includes routine, limits, laughter, love and sense of belonging.  Knowing that you and your home are a safe haven provides the foundation on which all other building blocks for self-esteem will rest. Every child in the world needs this.

2. Challenge. Allow your children to be challenged.  This stretches their mental muscle and let's them feel accomplished when they complete a task they had not earlier been able to master.  Focus on progress, not perfection.  Cheer your child on to victory.  Support her in her defeat. 

3. Listen Up.  Your child needs your undivided attention.  No, not all day long.  Thank goodness, because if this were the case, you'd never get anything done.  Your child needs some time alone to dream, doodle and entertain herself. But, she also needs and deserves your full attention, at times. Put that iPad or phone down. Stop multi-tasking. Look into your child's eyes.  LISTEN.  Really listen.  Reflect back to her what she is asking or saying to you.  Make her feel understood and wanted. 

4. Praise Effort, Not Outcomes.  "You worked really hard on folding those socks.  Look how many you did!"  "You never gave up on that math homework! Good for you!"  "It's fun for me to watch you play soccer.  When you got knocked down, you got right back up and kept running! Way to go!"  "You studied hard for that spelling test and did your very best! Excellent effort!"

5.  Help Children Be YOU-nique.  Each and every child is magnificent. (So is every adult.) When we look for it, we can find amazing qualities in every child we meet.  Help your child identify what makes her unique, what makes her stand out, what makes her special and different from anyone else in the world.

The list of things that help kids build self-esteem could go on and on.  This will give you a start. Add your own ideas.  Just avoid the constant, ongoing praise that kids drown out and stop believing in after a while.  It backfires from it's intended purpose.  Focus on helping your child be strong and secure in herself.  Self-esteem is an inside job! Help her make her own internal dialogue STRONG and CLEAR, so she learns to trust and rely on herself.

Are You a Bucket Filler?

Students in Kindergarten through 2nd grade have been focusing on being a "Bucket Filler".  What is Bucket Filling you ask?  Bucket Filling is when you do something kind for others. Have You Filled a Bucket Today, written by Carol McCloud is a wonderful story that teaches children to be kind to others.  But, watch out for the Bucket Dippers!  This year, I found a different version of Have You Filled a Bucket Today, called Bucket Filling from A to Z.  Students in second grade created a "Bucket Filling" Tips Acrostic Poem using the first letters in their names.  Students got very creative!  Some examples are:


R:  Respect Everybody
C:  Listen while others are talking
B:  Be a friend and not a bully
O:  Offer help
A:  Accept differences
T:  Tell someone a nice thing
S:  Smile and see what happens :)

Here are my bucket filling tips:

BHE No Name Calling Week January 21-24

BHE

“No Name-Calling” Week

January 21-24

“No Name-Calling” Week was inspired by a young adult novel entitled "The Misfits" by popular author, James Howe. The book tells the story of four best friends trying to survive the seventh grade in the face teasing and taunts.  Motivated by the inequities they see around them, the "Gang of Five" (as they are known) creates a new political party during student council elections and run on a platform aimed at wiping out name-calling of all kinds. The No-Name Party in the end wins the support of the school's principal for their cause and their idea for a "No Name-Calling Day" at school.

Schools across the nation will be celebrating “No Name-Calling” Week.  BHE will be participating in the annual “No-Name Calling” Week during the week of January 21.  This year’s theme is “Kindness”.  BHE believes in celebrating kindness while working to create a safe school free of name-calling, bullying and bias.  During the counselor class time, Ms. Wessels will be focusing on lessons that teach kindness, bullying, and name-calling.  Please talk with your student about what they are learning.

To show our support, each day, students and staff, will have the choice to dress up in the following ways:

Tuesday:          “Put a Rest to Name-Calling” wear PJ’s to school. 

Wednesday:      “Put a Cap on Name-Calling” wear a hat of choice

Thursday:         “Don’t Stuff Your Feelings Inside…Tell Someone!” Bring a favorite stuffed animal to school.

Friday:             Book Character Day: Students and staff select a book character that they love and think about and share the positive traits of that character.  Book Character Assembly will begin at 8:45 in the cafeteria.

Upcoming Workshop: Parenting with Love and Logic

Click Here for more information or to register